Think about a typical day in your life. I imagine it might include your morning routine, the drive to work, the day at work, after-work activity, dinner and evening routine. According to a 2017 poll, 80% of Americans follow a routine. Health science suggests that having a routine reduces anxiety and helps individuals feel a greater sense of control in their lives. According to that same poll, 45% say their regular routines are comforting. When I read this report, it helps me understand why our stress levels increase when the routine is disrupted. How do you respond to an unexpected change in your schedule?
For myself, changes like a new traffic pattern or changing the time for a lunch date are manageable. My stress increases when I might be late for something important, but still modifiable. Let’s say that change is due to a family member needing critical care; they had a stroke or a heart attack. Of course, I would stop everything and take them to the hospital or call 911. In the moment, my stress level would be very high but focused on immediate concerns. The best-case scenario would be they are treated and have a speedy recovery and life “goes back to normal”. Let’s imagine another scenario in which your loved one can no longer live independently and will need additional support for the remainder of their days and you are their primary caregiver. This situation may be a perfect storm for developing chronic stress.
Are you ready for that transition? Perhaps, you are already in that position. Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter is quoted as saying, “There are four kinds of people in this world: those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.” If you’re a caregiver, you’re likely to be stressed, and caregiver stress can be detrimental to your health and well-being. On March 14, Renee and I will be facilitating a workshop offering tools for caregivers including managing stress and avoiding burnout. The program is through Cleveland State University’s Continuing Education for counselors and professional caregivers (e.g., nurses, social workers); however, the program is appropriate for anyone needing caregiving tools. For your convenience, here is the link to register: https://www.campusce.net/csucasal/course/course.aspx?C=1573&pc=47&mc=&sc=
In our most recent podcast, Renee and I share symptoms and strategies with regard to caregiver stress. Caregiving is as diverse as the individuals needing it. It may require 24-hour care; preparing for an uncertain future; temporary, last several years or last a lifetime. Caregiving means being an advocate for your loved one by way of communicating with doctors and other health care professionals and navigating healthcare programs. Being an advocate includes respecting the wishes of the care-receiver and assisting them in passing with dignity.
Caregiving is stressful work. Most of us have had no training and, often times, find ourselves in a position for which we are unprepared. Being a caregiver challenges individuals to go beyond their comfort zone; tasks like dressing and bathing, administering medications by common routes (orally) or parenteral routes (e.g., intravenous); using wheelchairs and lifts and the doctor visits and/or emergency hospital visits. It is grappling with questions that often have no easy answers. Caregiving is an endless search for balance between doing too much for the care-receiver and doing too little; and finding time for personal self-care. Finances and other emotionally-charged issues also impact the stress of caregiving.
If you are feeling:
Overwhelmed or constantly worried
Often feeling exhausted
Experiencing disruptive diet and sleep patterns – either too much or too little nourishment and/or sleep
Become easily irritated or angry
Have lost interest in activities you have enjoyed in the past
Feeling sad or depressed
Experiencing physical symptoms like frequent headaches and/or bodily pains
Self-medicating
Feel lonely, isolated, and/or unacknowledged for your efforts and sacrifice
consider employing a professional healthcare provider.
What steps are you willing to take?
Ask for help
Accept help
Honor your needs
Take care of self
Be patient with self
Take one moment at a time and not try to tackle all of life’s problems at once
Find something to be grateful for
Remember what you love about your care-receiver
Be patient with your care-receiver
Forgive self
Reach out to others
Remember, if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to care for anyone else. The emotional, physical, and financial demands of caregiving do take a toll and not something we can do alone. Caregiving is a team effort.
RnR Therapy is available to help you find your voice; the strength and self-confidence to be an advocate not only for your care-receiver, but also for yourself. Again, take time to listen to our podcast for more thoughts on caregiving. The podcast link can be found on our website at RnRTherapyllc.com. Don’t hesitate to contact us if we may be of assistance.
Photo by Jack Finnigan on Unsplash