I teach a class on assessment use for counselors. I stress to students to focus on what is going well with clients as well as the presenting concerns. Too often, an individual will seek counseling and share all the times and ways they feel depressed or anxious and the work becomes all about the negative mood state. In other words, treatment becomes fixated on “fixing” and inherently seems to say we shouldn’t feel bad. Sometimes, though, the wisdom of our body is trying to tell us something and maybe we are supposed to feel a negative mood state.
It seems to me that commercial messages would have us believe we are always supposed to be calm and happy. Science and research would tell a different story. As human beings, we are meant to feel a full range of emotions. There is a whole science on emotional intelligence that teaches us how to listen and respond to our feelings instead of concealing or burying them.
I think having tools to better manage mood are helpful and counseling sessions may be used for psychoeducation and practicing skills. I also think that the heart of therapy is not solely in the management of symptoms. When we camouflage negative feelings, we risk exacerbating symptoms. In therapy there is a safe space to let it out. We do this through talk therapy or movement (like yoga) or sitting with the feeling (like meditation practice).
The idea is to be curious. What underlies the negative mood? What is the story that you are telling yourself that prevents you from exploring further? Therapy, by way of a therapeutic relationship, opens the space to allow for curious exploration, connection, and choice. At RnR Therapy, we are committed to the ideas of release, reflect and restore to improve one’s quality of life.
Weeks ago, I wrote about the metamorphosis of a butterfly. I have been replaying the video in my mind of a butterfly’s birth, especially the part where the space in the cocoon is too small to contain the full figure of the butterfly. The struggle is apparent and the chamber tears apart. There is all this turbulence and shuddering and slowly the butterfly form comes into view. Slowly, the butterfly’s wings open to their full wingspan. It is tragic and inspiring at the same time.
I imagine it might seem simpler to be still and be comforted in the walls of the cocoon and yet, by doing so, it may become stifling, suffocating. And so, it goes with becoming comfortable in a state of being. I might argue is it comfort or is it stuck with all the feelings of discomfort that come with feeling stuck. Sometimes we know there may be something better, another way of being that might be satisfying, healthier. Oh, but the energy required to move from a familiar way of being to a new approach may be painful. It is hard to let go of our comfort zones and yet, letting go is where life begins.
RnR Therapy wants to help you reach new heights. We welcome you into our safe space.
Photo by Mike Lewinski on Unsplash